Madonna gets domestic in new Dolce & Gabbana ad campaign

People.com has a sneak peek of Madonna’s new Steven Klein-shot ad campaign for Dolce & Gabbana, a series of black and white photos that feature Madge in the kitchen playing the role of busty housewife. The third-highest-grossing concert artist of the Oughts is shown washing the dishes, shredding lettuce, and digging into a bowl of pasta with her fingers.

There’s a variety of things going on in the campaign that please me. First, she’s on the verge of eating in two shots, which can’t hurt, given her rescued-greyhound physique of late. Second, she is seemingly unable to perform even the simplest domestic tasks without courting scandal: note the veggie photo (pictured here), in which her bazooming bosoms swoon beneath an enormous crucifix — exactly the sort of setup that tends to rile religious conservatives. (The breasts shall never touch the cross!)

Third, there is literally no reason whatsoever for Madonna to be in these pictures as opposed to some generic model, unless you start thinking about it, and then your brain slinks down the rabbit hole of symbolism involved in the Material Girl getting domestic just as Lady Gaga seems to have surmounted her provocateur pedestal. Finally, they continue the long and proud tradition of high-fashion advertorial photography in which I have absolutely no clue what exactly is being sold. Cookware? Wood paneling? Push-up bras? I mean, seriously, is anyone looking at the clothes, or just wondering what it would be like to live in a double-wide with a lady who once hitchhiked naked?